Spaghetti straps, style and spirituality

If you were a kid in the 90s or early 2000s, you’ll probably remember low-waisted flair jeans worn under mini-skirts, T-shirts with minions printed on them and going through a moustaches-on-everything phase.

Yuck. I get body shivers thinking about these fashion trends. It’s hard to believe they were ever cool.

I remember being 12 and wearing those brightly coloured spaghetti-strap tank tops from Supré, wishing I could fill them out like the other girls. Every moment I spent wearing one I felt awkward. I’d usually wear a jacket on top to hide the fact that the straps didn't—couldn't— stay on my shoulders.

Remember these bad boys?

As a kid I often wore clothes that were uncomfortable, poorly made, or that didn't fit properly, just to feel accepted. And I'd always beg mum to take me shopping for the newest trends.

That's just the way fashion is: fast.

Fashions fade and trends come and go, ushered in by celebrities, designers and advertising. And while I'm not here to give an essay on the damaging effects of the fast fashion industry (although you should check it out), I am here to advocate ditching fashion and instead opting for style . . . and not just when it comes to clothes.

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The principles of style

Yves Saint Laurent is often credited as saying "fashion fades, but style is eternal". I think he's absolutely correct.

Style is dressing for your body shape.

The fashion industry will tell you to buy whatever is "in", to get a new outfit for a special occasion, to keep clothes that don't fit because they're "cute rn". But to be stylish is to strategically purchase items of clothing that are comfortable, flattering and classic. To be stylish is to ignore what's "cool" and to choose what's "good".

Let's also be stylish in the way we see ourselves. Let's embrace our own unique personality and be unashamedly ourselves. Let's stop trying to fit a mould and meet unrealistic expectations; let's stop "faking it until we make it", and instead be comfortable in who we are. Let's be more concerned about whether we like ourselves than whether they do.

Style is investing in timeless pieces.

The fashion industry will tell you that your clothes are "sooo last season" and to churn through a new wardrobe every month, season, or year. But to be stylish is to buy timeless items of clothing—the black jeans, nude heels, white collared shirts, even if that means spending a bit more upfront, or having a smaller or "less exciting" wardrobe.

Let's also be stylish in the way we see relationships. Let's invest in a few deep and meaningful relationships, rather than trying to accumulate followers or more shallow connections. Let's walk through life with our timeless pieces—our sisters, brothers, best friends. Let's not throw out friendships just because they get difficult or become unpopular.

Style is being resourceful.

The fashion industry will tell you to only shop brands; to only shop new; to be a consumer. But style is shopping at second-hand stores, searching high and low for pre-loved items. Being stylish means recycling, mending, investing time and energy to create something that you love, not that others tell you to love.

Let's also be stylish in our philosophy towards life. Let's spend more time creating than consuming; more time writing. than watching Netflix; more time investing in friendships than liking celebrity tweets. Let's accept people as they are—loose threads and all—and help mend them; let's invest the time and energy it takes to meet them where they're at and pour love into their lives.

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Style is integrity

Ultimately, style is about being true to ourselves and our unique God-given identities, while fashion is about catering to others' expectations. To be stylish is to have integrity—in how we see ourselves, what we believe and how we treat others. It's to care more about what's on the inside, than what's on the surface.

For what profit is there if we gain the whole world, but forfeit ourselves? (Luke 9:25).

While fashions come and go, style is eternal. As Proverbs 31:30 says, "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all. Charm is deceptive and beauty soon fades, but a woman [or man] who fears the Lord is to be praised."

Until next time!